WHY we never “MUST” do anything!

I remember uttering these words early in my relationship “There is never anything we must do darling, chill”.
What I actually wanted to tell or describe was a way to see life.
That we simply MUST not do anything!
It is mostly in our heads without us knowing why we so desperately “must” do things.

Don’t get me wrong, there is plenty of “must” to go around.
It rather depends on what we aim to achieve.
Truth be told, we don’t even have to eat!
(SAY WHAT!!?)
You see, we must only eat if we wish to survive, still – eating in itself is not a must.

We don’t even have to live!
We only have to live if we… wish to do this or that, to see the next sunrise and so on…

Are you following me? Does anything of this make sense?
And why do I even state the obvious??

I do this since I believe that too much of what we are taught in life, often is taught as a set of rules rather than good advice.

Example 1:
Rule: “You have to wash your hands before you eat!”
– Do we? Really?
Advice: You must wash your hands if you wish to avoid dirt coming into your food. If you accept that risk, then why wouldn’t you go ahead and eat with dirty hands.
Example 2:
Law: “You mustn’t steal!”
_{^{(okay so I am taking a harsh example but there is a point, keep reading!)}}
– Why not?
“- Because it’s the right thing of course!”
– According to whom? The entire history is based on takeovers of some kind.
Advice: You must not steal if you wish to avoid living in a world where, at any time, any of your belongings can be taken without repercussion.
It is also a must, not to steal, to avoid that moral feeling of having taken what someone else has been working to achieve, hanging over us.

What I want to say! (Yes, finally the point!)

Unless we understand the Why to what we “must”, we can never expect to touch the heart of anyone.
And if we do not touch hearts then understandings and long-lasting changes will never blossom.

This, to me, is a big part of a lot of problems today. The way kids are met with a bunch of rules and laws that are more dealing with consequences rather than an understanding why certain actions should not be taken.
The reaction to the action is simply missing.

Another reason is this ‘fast paste world’ we live in, and the way people more rarely stick around to see the reaction to the their action.

Example 3:
Why should we not litter?
An answer like “because it’s the right thing!”, touces no heart. Everyone knows this. Still, way too many people litter.
Many simply leave the spot of littering without staying around to see the dumpster they just left behind or to see the sweat of the garbage men that do the cleaning. Even less is the understanding of in what ways the nature reacts to such action.
Forward, new places, new experiences, new sensations – so many that are constantly on the move.

So what rules and laws might nurture is fear and rebelliousness, in order for long-lasting solutions to many problems in society, we need to talk to the heart and reason!

_{This is my side of the story, some of my thoughts about the big puzzle we call life.
What are yours?}

Love / Pedro

Oh yea, there is follow-up on this topic: WHY do we really want it?